


Sundown, Sunup

by holyfant



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Coming Out, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-07
Updated: 2012-02-07
Packaged: 2017-11-16 00:55:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/533695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holyfant/pseuds/holyfant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lavender never expected it to go as badly as it had.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sundown, Sunup

During the Apparating Lavender had lost her grip on Parvati's hand. The small shock she felt at feeling the fingers slip from her own in the sickening, long-yet-short swirl of moments that was Apparating was intensified by the shock of the wooden floor of their apartment rushing up to meet her. Her legs bucked – for the first time in years, she was unable to stay on her feet and fell to her knees.

“Merlin's cock,” she swore, getting up and rubbing at what would most certainly become a nasty bruise – then she remembered what made her lose her balance. She quickly looked behind her, but the small living room, where the smell of the spicy incense Parvati had lit before they left still lingered, was empty. A point of fear sparked inside Lavender's belly; they had never lost each other during Apparition before, and although she knew Parvati was more than capable to Apparate accurately, she also knew that her girlfriend had the tendency to lose her precision when she was shaken up.

“Parvati?” she called and walked through to the tiny kitchen. The ingredients for tonight's vegetable curry had already been laid out by Parvati; the vividness of the red peppers and the black-purple shine of the aubergines somehow made her throat tighten in worry even more – where was she?

She burst through the door of their bedroom, the only room worthy of being called a room, the room Parvati had decorated bit by bit with a mix of magical and Muggle elements, English and Indian styles, only adding a piece at a time because she loved thinking about it and playing with it. It was empty, but Lavender felt her stomach relax when she saw Parvati's outline back-lit by the afternoon sun setting over London through the large glass door that led onto a tiny balcony. She looked small; her edges blurred into the sunset, as if she was being absorbed into the horizon, into the city glowing yellow in this rare Indian summer evening.

Lavender crossed the room and thought about knocking on the window for a split second before deciding that she didn't want to give Parvati the chance to tell her to go away – because then she would have to do so; she always found it difficult to press issues, while Parvati found it difficult to let her know that she wanted Lavender to press them. So she just slid open the door and stepped into the small space with Parvati. The air outside was warm and mellow. The sound of traffic coming from Muggle London was muted and far-off. Parvati didn't turn around.

“Hey,” Lavender said to her back. She could see Parvati's shoulders unclenching a bit.

“Hi,” Parvati returned.

At the sound of her voice, which even in this one word was washed out, brimming with still unshed tears, Lavender's heart jumped up into her throat and she unhesitatingly closed the small space between them and wrapped Parvati into a tight hug from behind. Parvati gave a small sob and wrapped her arms around herself, fingers grasping at Lavender's elbows. Lavender's chin fit perfectly as ever into the curve where Parvati's neck melted into her clavicle.

“I didn't know where you were,” Lavender murmured. Some strands of Parvati's hair that had freed themselves from her braid, gently stirred by the warm breeze, moved across her face.

“Sorry,” Parvati mumbled, “I almost got lost.”

“I know.”

And Parvati's fingers were painful on her elbows as they drew her in even closer; Parvati was shaking, her head leaning back into the side of Lavender's face; sobs were fighting their way up out of her body; Lavender scrunched her eyes closed and squeezed her girlfriend closer, closer, she wanted them to be closer than they were, to eliminate all of space between them, to bring their skins so close they would start to stick to each other. This was a feeling she had at times, like she just wanted melt together with Parvati. The sun played across her eyelids as they stood, time not slowing down for any of their problems.

After a while, Lavender said: “You have me, babe, I'm here,” because there really wasn't anything else she could say – she was there and she wasn't leaving, but she also knew that right now that could only feel like such a small certainty to Parvati, because other things that she had been sure of had also proven false. Parvati only cried harder in response.

Lavender had to admit she had never expected things to go as badly as they had – Parvati's parents were fussy and sometimes short-sighted, yes, but Lavender was sure there was no one they loved more than their daughters, and even if she had expected them to get angry at first she hadn't foreseen what poisonous words they would fling their way. Parvati's mum had only been capable of crying but her dad had said that they were no longer welcome, not Parvati but especially not Lavender, with her terrible influence, and as long as Parvati chose to associate with her she couldn't expect for them to accept her back and... The words still rung inside her skull, bouncing off each other, rushing past her in all their stinging rawness. And it had been Padma who had surprised Lavender most. By all means her response had been the best, as she said no words of condemnation, but Lavender had expected some support from her, even if veiled, even if only given quickly outside of the eye of their parents. But she hadn't. She had just stood silently, her dark eyes infinitely more inscrutable to Lavender than her sister's ever were. Lavender could tell her mind was racing, but she never spoke. She remembered thinking, dazed, hurt under the cold stare of Parvati's father, who had always been nothing but warm toward her before now, that maybe this was the difference between Gryffindors and Ravenclaws, this small lag in reaction, this need to process things before formulating a response? She didn't know.

She didn't know, but she had really needed Padma to say something, to herself, because she was not yet sure of anything except the fact that she loved Parvati, and therefore still needed some form of reassurance from people who knew her; but she could understand Padma's silence to her. She needed her to say something, if not to her, then at the very least to Parvati, who still needed her twin in ways that were sometimes hard for Lavender to wrap her head around.

She could feel the shocks of Parvati's sobs lessening.

She wanted to say something like _They'll come round eventually_ , but didn't, because she knew that it would ring hollow – really, what did she know, how could she ever know what they would do? She was only barely beginning to scratch the surface of what it meant to Parvati to be English and Indian and to be part of the family she was part of, and there was still a lot that Lavender didn't understand. Even after so many years of being Parvati's best friend, she still felt puzzled sometimes by the way Parvati could react to family pressure.

So she said the only thing that she really knew: “I love you.”

And Parvati's voice was trembly, but not hesitant: “I love you too.” Then: “I can't leave them behind, Lav, I can't.”

Lavender said: “You don't have to,” and they both heard the _but it's up to them_ even if she didn't say it.

They cooked the curry together, and ate with big appetites, strengthening the border around their own private bubble. Parvati kissed Lavender more often than she would on a normal night. They took to bed long after the sun dropped behind the horizon. They even had wine in bed; Lavender knew that Parvati must have been in some turmoil to take that kind of chance with their luxurious satin bedding. There wasn't much to say, but they said it anyway, and most of all held each other.

Hours into the night, not long at all after Lavender had finally felt Parvati go relaxed against her back, there was a tap on the window – and, taking care not to wake Parvati, she got up and took the scroll from the Patil family owl. She put the letter on the table, unread. She knew that what Padma had to say had to be heard by Parvati first.

Yet, when she slipped back between the sheets and carefully slid back into the curl of Parvati's body, she felt the knot around her heart relaxing a bit.


End file.
